Dear all,

I went to see Graham yesterday afternoon and stayed a couple of hours. What was extremely exciting was that he was up in his wheelchair when I arrived, and he suggested that we go to the patient lounge. I said, fine. Whereupon he proceeded to wheel himself there!! I was mightily impressed and attach a couple of photos here for you. Look at them in the following order: Graham wheels to the patient lounge (you can see his bed behind on the left, all made up for when he is sitting up); wheeling through the ward (his space is at the back left); turning the corner (this is the area he was in first at the back -- the nurses station is at the right, you can't see it); down the hallway (the ward is behind him); in the patient lounge (sat ready to dictate some post cards and have a visit).

This was the first time I have see him sitting up with out his collar as well because the last time I was in when he was in the wheel chair was when he was still wearing the collar. He had been back in bed every visit I made since then, though I knew he was getting up. So this actually represents quite a change from when he was up before.

He is allowed up for a couple of hours at a time now. This is good as he is hoping to go on an outing with the Ward 1 patients on the 7th of July and he will need to be able to be up for several hours for that. The pressure sores seem to be at bay now, and he didn't even have the botox treatment as they seemed to clear up without it.

He was pleased to announce he had a bath yesterday (the shower was actually broken) and though it is harder to get him in and out of the bath, once in they managed to scrub him and get a lot of the old skin off him that does not really come off in the shower. They washed his hair, and I brushed it for him before I left, cleaning out the last of the pin holes on the back of his head. Three of the four holes are healed, this last one taking a bit more time. Partly this is due to him being in bed with his head on the side so that the hair was sticking in the hole. No one seems to spend much time grooming him, so when I go in I make it a point to work on the holes to clear them out. I also give his head a really good hairbrushing so that makes him feel really good.

He is looking forward with great anticipation to the visit from Pastor Steve from his church. I know it is nice to have the anticipation of someone coming to visit as he only has Airasa and Ian and me visiting, and I have been a bit distracted lately with the Walk for Peace I am facilitating that is being launched on Sunday the 10th of July. There is much to do for that, and we are now hoping for 1000 people. I am sure you would all come along if you were in town!

We didn't tell him about the possibility of Steve coming until we were sure as it would have been a let down to anticipate and be disappointed. Steve arrives on the 16th and leaves the 17th and Graham is hoping that Steve might be able to go to chapel with him on the Sunday morning at the hospital. That would be lovely for him, I am sure.

With the packing up of his books, it is becomeing clearer that his return to California grows near. I believe he is adjusting to the facts of this now, and seems to be looking forward to it, though of course the change will be a bit nerve wracking for him (for anyone). There is the preparation for flying and how he gets there, but before he will be allowed to return he will have to have both the medical facility and his home apartment set up. When he is back in California, he will go to the medical facility first and be introduced to his apartment over time with regular visits there to get used to it. He will need help most of the time, so if he happens to ge a 2 bedroom apartment, his carer could live in with him.

Of course this is all out of our hands now. We know that discussions are taking place in California and we hope to hear that a suitable home is found so that he can come there while the weather is still nice. He is enjoying the heat here though some of us find some of the days too hot. As he has said, a quadriplegic does not have the ability to regulate body temperature, so a warm day feels better than a cold one.

He has recently received a box of CDs from his own collection, and a box of cassette tapes from his own collection. Thank you those who retrieved them and those who sent them. He does love his own music and it helps him get through the days.

I was saying to him how much I admire the courage he has shown through these past 6 months (hard to believe but it is only a day or two away from 6 months since this happened) and he said that he just takes it one day at a time. He said he had recently learned something very important -- that if you know someone in worse condition than yourself it is not something that means you cannot feel bad about your own situation. I told him that I felt guilty considering my toe (which turned out to be broken) knowing he was in the hospital paralysed. He said he has learned to look at another lad there who is really a lot worse off (can't breathe on his own, will never be able to do anything for himself) and not castigate himself for being better than that, but instead to appreciate that each person has their own condition to deal with and comparing them helps no one. Feeling sorry for oneself for being worse off, or feeling better for being better off, does no good at all. Dealing with every day as it comes, in the condition that is currently presented, is all anyone can do.

I know his faith has helped tremendously to make his daily life bearable. He sees a chaplain nearly every day and takes communion regularly.

But also what has helped him so much is the love and care that each of you has sent his direction over these months. Your cards, letters, photographs, videos, packages, and phone calls have made it possible for him to progress day by day.

After being in bed so much this past month, I was so proud of him for wheeling himself to the patient lounge. There was one point he could not manage, where the door to the patient lounge is, the floor goes up and over a join. He just could not manage to get his hands back fast enough to rock fast enough to get over the join. I helped him through and could see he was disappointed with himself. But he quickly got over it and felt the joy of doing so much. I am very proud of how he has made progress. When I left he was busy feeding himself again. This skill he had gained before being stuck in bed for so long is now returning, though it will take a while for him to be back to being as precise as he had been.

We are hoping to take him to the sculpture park nearby one of these days. It is also possible he can now come and visit me in my new flat as it is wheelchair accessible. So that will provide him something else to accomplish before leaving England to return to California.

Thank you again to all of you who are helping to keep his spirits up. When he gets back we hope you will all find a way to keep visiting him so he has at least one visitor a day. The visits he has make all the difference to his days. With so many of you, perhaps you will set up some sort of rota. I know he will also enjoy being able to be in his own church on Sundays.

So that is a longer update than I expected to write, but since I type 90 wpm and I have not written for a while, it seemed appropriate to do this.

I hope you enjoy the photos.

I also hope you are enjoying the summer. We are having really nice weather. The G8 conference about to start at Gleneagles in Scotland has provided the impetus for many people taking a stand against poverty, for the African people, and for peace. It is wonderful to see that we can make a difference if we act as a whole.

May the light of love and peace shine brightly on all of you,
Kind regards,
Linda
PS please note my new email address. I am keeping the other one for spam!!