Back in the USA
Dear All,
I am so glad Airasa sent this email with all your addresses, as it is not so easy for her to update you second hand. I have been inundating Airasa with emails about Graham's progress, but now that I have your emails I can inundate all of you again!!
I have just written a long email to Airasa so won't be quite so long-winded with you all probably. This computer has an ordinary keyboard and I am used to an ergonomic one so it is not quite so fast for me! [ed. note: now that I have finished I see this is as long as all the other emails I have sent -- sorry about that but I seem to get into the flow!]
I will give you a quick progress report here so you can see that he is adjusting though it is slow and will take time to get used to the new routines.It seems like more time has passed than actually has because of all the changes and settling in. I have spent about 5 or 6 hours every day at the BVCC with Graham trying to help him get sorted out and adjust to the new routines. He has been very good and accepting of all these changes, even though at times it is quite scary I think.
The room he is in gives him more space for his things, but the facility iteself does not have the more high tech stuff for rehab (like they don't have a bike for example) and they don't have a computer room so if he is going to use a computer we will have to be inventive in finding space for it in his room. As laptops are pretty small these days, I believe it is all very possible.
Next week hopefully there will be a bulletin board put on the wall at the end of his bed where we can put up cards and photos sent by all you good people. I think we will start afresh rather than put up the cards and photos you sent while he was in England. That way we will also be able to change it more easily using thumb tacks rather than sticking things on the walls. Graham has had many visitors already, and I know that, though he feels a bit overwhelmed, each person adds one more positive step for Graham's recovery. I have met some of them but others have been there at night after I have left. The folks from ABC-Clio, his work mates, have been really kind and generous. Not only have they come to visit they also gave Graham an amazing gift of TV/Video/DVD all in one combination entertainment unit. Graham will make a lot of use of that, to watch baseball and other videos and dvds of films and perhaps even be able to listen to CDs on the dvd player (mine will do that so I assume this one will as well). We have not got it hooked up to any tv stations, as I think he needs either a cable or an antenna to get stations, but I am sure if he wants that we can arrange it soon.
I will be meeting the church folks on Sunday morning and really am looking forward to putting some more faces to names. Marj and Jim have been so wonderful to Susan (the nurse) and myself in giving us not only our own bedrooms to stay in, but feeding us and taking us places. Marj has taken Susan shopping in SB and to Solvang as well as taking both of us out for meals and to the local stores for provisions. Jim was so quick to get the wheelchair from church for Graham to try and has done anything to make our stay here happy. Marj even bought a special lamp for my room so I can read before going to sleep (and when I get up).
Graham's physical condition is really quite good I think. The people at BVCC are very kind and positive and upbeat. They would like to have the aim of getting Graham into his own place eventually, albeit a disabled apartment and with frequent carer help. They also hope he will become able to do something in the way of productive work -- whether he could return to ABC-Clio in a different position performing work he could do with voice activated software or alternatively become a weekly columnist for a magazine using his formidable brilliance to electrify and cajole others to see a different point of view or even eventually to write a book -- we all hope that there will be some useful activity Graham will one day find that will make him feel useful and needed in the world. I will never forget how he told me one day at Pinderfields that he dreaded the idea of simply being entertained until he died. He really wants to do useful, productive work and not be a burden to himself or to others.
The positivity of the BVCC staff is so helpful. When he was told at Pinders that they 'could do no more for him' he read that as he had reached his plateau of existence and now there seems to be a bit more hope that not only will he continue to improve in his abilities, he might even improve in his body. As we have said, 8 months is really a very short time when it comes to spinal cord injuries, and there may be vast improvement for Graham in the future. I was told of one known person with Graham's exact injuries who now drives a car and goes to work! There is always hope!There are still many things for me to facilitate before I leave Santa Barbara next Friday and I will need to enlist the aid of some of you who live here. We will need to empty Graham's apartment finally and then free him to be on the list for a disabled apartment if he is ever going to be able to leave the BVCC then we need a place for him to go. I also have quite a few of his things in suitcases that we brought from England that he does not need with him so those will need to be stored in his storage area. There are the financial responsibilities that he will need help with -- he can decide things but he cannot do things to execute his decisions -- so there will need to be a designated person to help keep his finances on track. Fortunately his clothes will be washed by the BVCC folks so no one will need to take on that job! We are just hoping that things get back to him -- I marked everything clearly with his name and still have to do an inventory of all the stuff he has with him with a member of staff. One of his aides joked, when answering Graham's question about when the things came back from the laundry "two months" but it was a joke!
The staff at the BVCC are really kind and many of them have been asking Graham how best they can help him. The visitors he is getting have cheered him up so much and there are still so many of you who have not yet had a chance to see him. I hope to meet some of you today, it being Saturday. You all will probably need to coordinate your visits a little once the dust settles so that he has a steady rate of visitors rather than 5 showing up at one time! He is still adjusting to the time change and the routine changes -- and there are plenty of routine changes! But eventually I expect he will be sitting up in a chair made to fit his specifications for his body, and be able to sit up for many hours in the day. When visitors are there and he is sitting up, you will see he is really very much himself -- talking away on all the subjects he loves, asking questions of each visitor about their lives, generally being the fascinating guy I met in 1972!!
The California weather will be a cheerful change from dreary old England as well.One day soon I expect he will be able to go on short outings -- perhaps wheeled to the local shopping center where there is apparently a new Mexican cafe that serves yummy food; going to church on a Sunday and seeing his friends there, even being able to give a reading or two; sitting with friends in the garden at the center where birds sing and the sun shines and it is simply a really nice place to be; one day even going to the movies or a baseball game -- who knows? The sky's the limit.
Right then, you all have his address at the BVCC so writing to him there will be the address of choice. You also have his PO Box address if you want to send him anything and I expect Ernie will continue to check that regularly (thanks Ernie).I would love to meet any of you local SB folks -- I intend to visit ABC Clio next week (I will need a lift, fellows!) so I can see all the kind work mates who have written to Graham over these months. I am sorry not to be able to see others who live away from here, but you can always write to me when you feel like it! People here will now need to do some sort of regular updates to Airasa (and me) in England, though phone calls to the center are quickly taken and it is nice to talk on the phone with Graham! But the email lifeline to us in England will continue to be important so hopefully as people visit Graham they will feel free to write updates to the group. No one expect them to be long like mine and in fact there may be a collective sigh of relief from all of you once I stop inundating you with these gargantuan updates. I expect Graham will take that over eventually himself -- he just needs to find someone to take dictation until he gets his software up and running.
It is still early days and there is, I firmly believe, much more improvement possible for Graham. Each of you (and the second level who are not on this list) are important in your own way to this recovery. I also want to add that knowing Graham and seeing how he is handling this very difficult life change is very wonderful to behold. I have often asked myself how I would have managed had it happened to me...and I am very very careful getting in and out of the shower as well as watching my footing in general!
I hope to hear from you all before I go in some fashion for me to read to Graham or to put his emails in his 'Progress File' full of emails he can read to himself once that is all sorted out.
Kind regards to you all as always,
Linda
I am so glad Airasa sent this email with all your addresses, as it is not so easy for her to update you second hand. I have been inundating Airasa with emails about Graham's progress, but now that I have your emails I can inundate all of you again!!
I have just written a long email to Airasa so won't be quite so long-winded with you all probably. This computer has an ordinary keyboard and I am used to an ergonomic one so it is not quite so fast for me! [ed. note: now that I have finished I see this is as long as all the other emails I have sent -- sorry about that but I seem to get into the flow!]
I will give you a quick progress report here so you can see that he is adjusting though it is slow and will take time to get used to the new routines.It seems like more time has passed than actually has because of all the changes and settling in. I have spent about 5 or 6 hours every day at the BVCC with Graham trying to help him get sorted out and adjust to the new routines. He has been very good and accepting of all these changes, even though at times it is quite scary I think.
The room he is in gives him more space for his things, but the facility iteself does not have the more high tech stuff for rehab (like they don't have a bike for example) and they don't have a computer room so if he is going to use a computer we will have to be inventive in finding space for it in his room. As laptops are pretty small these days, I believe it is all very possible.
Next week hopefully there will be a bulletin board put on the wall at the end of his bed where we can put up cards and photos sent by all you good people. I think we will start afresh rather than put up the cards and photos you sent while he was in England. That way we will also be able to change it more easily using thumb tacks rather than sticking things on the walls. Graham has had many visitors already, and I know that, though he feels a bit overwhelmed, each person adds one more positive step for Graham's recovery. I have met some of them but others have been there at night after I have left. The folks from ABC-Clio, his work mates, have been really kind and generous. Not only have they come to visit they also gave Graham an amazing gift of TV/Video/DVD all in one combination entertainment unit. Graham will make a lot of use of that, to watch baseball and other videos and dvds of films and perhaps even be able to listen to CDs on the dvd player (mine will do that so I assume this one will as well). We have not got it hooked up to any tv stations, as I think he needs either a cable or an antenna to get stations, but I am sure if he wants that we can arrange it soon.
I will be meeting the church folks on Sunday morning and really am looking forward to putting some more faces to names. Marj and Jim have been so wonderful to Susan (the nurse) and myself in giving us not only our own bedrooms to stay in, but feeding us and taking us places. Marj has taken Susan shopping in SB and to Solvang as well as taking both of us out for meals and to the local stores for provisions. Jim was so quick to get the wheelchair from church for Graham to try and has done anything to make our stay here happy. Marj even bought a special lamp for my room so I can read before going to sleep (and when I get up).
Graham's physical condition is really quite good I think. The people at BVCC are very kind and positive and upbeat. They would like to have the aim of getting Graham into his own place eventually, albeit a disabled apartment and with frequent carer help. They also hope he will become able to do something in the way of productive work -- whether he could return to ABC-Clio in a different position performing work he could do with voice activated software or alternatively become a weekly columnist for a magazine using his formidable brilliance to electrify and cajole others to see a different point of view or even eventually to write a book -- we all hope that there will be some useful activity Graham will one day find that will make him feel useful and needed in the world. I will never forget how he told me one day at Pinderfields that he dreaded the idea of simply being entertained until he died. He really wants to do useful, productive work and not be a burden to himself or to others.
The positivity of the BVCC staff is so helpful. When he was told at Pinders that they 'could do no more for him' he read that as he had reached his plateau of existence and now there seems to be a bit more hope that not only will he continue to improve in his abilities, he might even improve in his body. As we have said, 8 months is really a very short time when it comes to spinal cord injuries, and there may be vast improvement for Graham in the future. I was told of one known person with Graham's exact injuries who now drives a car and goes to work! There is always hope!There are still many things for me to facilitate before I leave Santa Barbara next Friday and I will need to enlist the aid of some of you who live here. We will need to empty Graham's apartment finally and then free him to be on the list for a disabled apartment if he is ever going to be able to leave the BVCC then we need a place for him to go. I also have quite a few of his things in suitcases that we brought from England that he does not need with him so those will need to be stored in his storage area. There are the financial responsibilities that he will need help with -- he can decide things but he cannot do things to execute his decisions -- so there will need to be a designated person to help keep his finances on track. Fortunately his clothes will be washed by the BVCC folks so no one will need to take on that job! We are just hoping that things get back to him -- I marked everything clearly with his name and still have to do an inventory of all the stuff he has with him with a member of staff. One of his aides joked, when answering Graham's question about when the things came back from the laundry "two months" but it was a joke!
The staff at the BVCC are really kind and many of them have been asking Graham how best they can help him. The visitors he is getting have cheered him up so much and there are still so many of you who have not yet had a chance to see him. I hope to meet some of you today, it being Saturday. You all will probably need to coordinate your visits a little once the dust settles so that he has a steady rate of visitors rather than 5 showing up at one time! He is still adjusting to the time change and the routine changes -- and there are plenty of routine changes! But eventually I expect he will be sitting up in a chair made to fit his specifications for his body, and be able to sit up for many hours in the day. When visitors are there and he is sitting up, you will see he is really very much himself -- talking away on all the subjects he loves, asking questions of each visitor about their lives, generally being the fascinating guy I met in 1972!!
The California weather will be a cheerful change from dreary old England as well.One day soon I expect he will be able to go on short outings -- perhaps wheeled to the local shopping center where there is apparently a new Mexican cafe that serves yummy food; going to church on a Sunday and seeing his friends there, even being able to give a reading or two; sitting with friends in the garden at the center where birds sing and the sun shines and it is simply a really nice place to be; one day even going to the movies or a baseball game -- who knows? The sky's the limit.
Right then, you all have his address at the BVCC so writing to him there will be the address of choice. You also have his PO Box address if you want to send him anything and I expect Ernie will continue to check that regularly (thanks Ernie).I would love to meet any of you local SB folks -- I intend to visit ABC Clio next week (I will need a lift, fellows!) so I can see all the kind work mates who have written to Graham over these months. I am sorry not to be able to see others who live away from here, but you can always write to me when you feel like it! People here will now need to do some sort of regular updates to Airasa (and me) in England, though phone calls to the center are quickly taken and it is nice to talk on the phone with Graham! But the email lifeline to us in England will continue to be important so hopefully as people visit Graham they will feel free to write updates to the group. No one expect them to be long like mine and in fact there may be a collective sigh of relief from all of you once I stop inundating you with these gargantuan updates. I expect Graham will take that over eventually himself -- he just needs to find someone to take dictation until he gets his software up and running.
It is still early days and there is, I firmly believe, much more improvement possible for Graham. Each of you (and the second level who are not on this list) are important in your own way to this recovery. I also want to add that knowing Graham and seeing how he is handling this very difficult life change is very wonderful to behold. I have often asked myself how I would have managed had it happened to me...and I am very very careful getting in and out of the shower as well as watching my footing in general!
I hope to hear from you all before I go in some fashion for me to read to Graham or to put his emails in his 'Progress File' full of emails he can read to himself once that is all sorted out.
Kind regards to you all as always,
Linda
posted by Cosmic Sunshine at 10:48 AM
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