Linda's Visit to Pinderfields
I went to Pinderfields yesterday and I spent 2 1/2 hours with Graham. I came away drained and sad. Its very sad. The men in the ward are all maimed and the feeling is a bit hopeless there. He is not exactly happy but I am so glad that so far he has managed to hold some positive thoughts. I am surprised he is not weeping all the time but I guess that is the male side of things -- they don't get the great sorrow and then cry, they just keep it in.
I did what needed to be done -- I decorated his place! I took in blue tac and put up his cards, a poster, his star that says 'endurance' that came from his church, a Far Side calendar I got him. I fed him and brushed and flossed his teeth. I washed his face. I massaged his neck, arms, back (what I could reach), hands, shoulders. I rubbed his head and scratched it. I talked to him, read some things people had sent. I gave him attention and love. He needs it to survive.
He is hanging in there by a thread if you ask me. The boy next to him has a tracheotomy and can't speak and has his television on all day. Graham is used to being alone except when he is at work. He must be finding this so difficult -- never to have any alone time. I closed the curtains to take away the view of the hustle and bustle of the ward, but the noise was loud and constant. When I left, I put on a CD and his headphones.
I know he is grateful to me for finding him and 'saving his life' and for visiting him so much in the hospital. Airasa missed for the first time last night.
This has changed our lives so much, but his more than anyone else's. I do feel so sad for him. I pray hard that he gets the use of his hands back. I know it will take time but am grasping at anything that looks like progress.
They have put him on Vallium to help stop the violent leg twitches. So he is subdued. Perhaps it helps to keep him from being angry and depressed. Its Hard to know. It is draining to see him and to see the rest of those lads -- some so young -- what a terrible life they are left with. I guess this is the way it is, but it is sad.
--FL Linda
I did what needed to be done -- I decorated his place! I took in blue tac and put up his cards, a poster, his star that says 'endurance' that came from his church, a Far Side calendar I got him. I fed him and brushed and flossed his teeth. I washed his face. I massaged his neck, arms, back (what I could reach), hands, shoulders. I rubbed his head and scratched it. I talked to him, read some things people had sent. I gave him attention and love. He needs it to survive.
He is hanging in there by a thread if you ask me. The boy next to him has a tracheotomy and can't speak and has his television on all day. Graham is used to being alone except when he is at work. He must be finding this so difficult -- never to have any alone time. I closed the curtains to take away the view of the hustle and bustle of the ward, but the noise was loud and constant. When I left, I put on a CD and his headphones.
I know he is grateful to me for finding him and 'saving his life' and for visiting him so much in the hospital. Airasa missed for the first time last night.
This has changed our lives so much, but his more than anyone else's. I do feel so sad for him. I pray hard that he gets the use of his hands back. I know it will take time but am grasping at anything that looks like progress.
They have put him on Vallium to help stop the violent leg twitches. So he is subdued. Perhaps it helps to keep him from being angry and depressed. Its Hard to know. It is draining to see him and to see the rest of those lads -- some so young -- what a terrible life they are left with. I guess this is the way it is, but it is sad.
--FL Linda
posted by Fearless Leader Sue at 9:24 AM
2 Comments:
I am going to visit him today again. He has been moved to a quieter part of the ward, which I am sure will be much better. I did sound very depressed in this last letter, so I will see if I can have a happier one for you all when I get back.
There really is not much we can do except keep on visiting him and cheering him on. I know it is just going to take time and I have to be brave about it all. Everything you send is printed and read to him so do write and I will read to him.
Alex, your desire to come and visit is really nice. Perhaps later in the year. I do believe he is going to get better...
Linda here again but I don't know how to sign in!
I am going to visit him today again. He has been moved to a quieter part of the ward, which I am sure will be much better. I did sound very depressed in this last letter, so I will see if I can have a happier one for you all when I get back.
There really is not much we can do except keep on visiting him and cheering him on. I know it is just going to take time and I have to be brave about it all. Everything you send is printed and read to him so do write and I will read to him.
Alex, your desire to come and visit is really nice. Perhaps later in the year. I do believe he is going to get better...
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